This week's Sunday Spotlight highlights Alex, the Kiwi-Kraut with a twist. Alex (Instagram: @bucket_defleurs) has spent some of his formative years between Africa and Europe, then to uni at one of our favs in Montreal; McGill . Now finishing his Master’s degree in Berlin he discusses identity and what it is like to “repatriate” to a country that he has never actually lived in, and why he has found home in Berlin.
Here’s Alex!
Someone you have just met asks you, “where are you from”? I can imagine that this question instills dread, excitement, and humility, in most Third Culture Kids (I’m sure a sociologist somewhere has coined a newer term to describe us, but this was the one familiar to me while growing up).
This delightful cocktail of feelings may have its flavour broken down as follows. One part dread, because you were hoping this question would never come. One part excitement, because like all humans, we TCKs are excited when others show interest in us. One part humility, because if you give them the long story, their interest will most likely have waned by the end of the first chapter.
So let’s rip the Band-Aid off, and give you the long story as quickly as possible: I am half German, half New Zealander (biologically speaking I am half Croatian because my Mum is adopted), and was born in New Zealand in 1993, while my parents were living in Hanoi. After the quick commute to Auckland for my birth, my parents moved from Vietnam to Rome in 1994. In 1998 the next continent awaited: Luanda, Angola, and then Maputo, Moçambique from 2000-2004. Then it was back to ‘Headquarters’ in Italy, and by 2011, it was time to leave the nest and head off to Montreal to attend university. Finally, in 2015 I moved to Berlin and have been here ever since.
Every time I tell this story I feel like a self-entitled ‘Diplobrat’, but well…that’s just how it is. (BTW the irony of the word nest is not lost on me and this is why I have italicized it).
Some of my closest friends do not know the “long story” because I used to omit most of it, for the sake of brevity. For many years, I did not mind compartmentalizing my identity because I thought it would make it easier to fit in (the less complex my background seems, the better)! However, now that I am coming towards the end of my 20s, I am starting to realize that compartmentalizing myself for the sake of others, was probably not the best practice for my mental health, and maybe, just maybe, may have helped contribute to a number of years of substance abuse. So as a rule of thumb, I have endeavoured to tell everyone the long story, and if they don’t like it or aren’t interested, then so be it.
Now, let’s get back to the title of this post. The Clash wrote “Should I stay or should I go?” in 1981, and this question elicits a feeling of inner turmoil for me. It has been almost six years since I ‘repatriated’ to one of my passport countries (this is how I affectionately refer to Germany and New Zealand, because prior to 2015 I had not lived in either), and I feel content here.
The main reason I chose Berlin is because it is the perfect balance of German and not German at all (Deutshland-lite, as I like to call it). On the one hand, the public transport system is efficient and runs like clockwork: you can reach every part of central Berlin within 40 minutes. On the other hand, most night clubs in Berlin stay open non-stop from Friday at midnight, to Monday at noon, offering a sense of freedom that few (if any) other European capitals offer (there is nothing quite like seeing the suits on their way to work, and the ravers on their way home, in the same U-bahn carriage, on a Monday morning). It is also cheap: you can drink good German beer (€0.70-€1.50/500ml bottle) while indulging in a tasty falafel for the price of €1 (the perfect level of crunch on the outside and the perfect level of moist on the inside).
What also drew me to Berlin was its history (it is essentially a living Museum). As the youngest capital city in Western Europe, Berlin is extremely vibrant, and the quintessential TCK when it comes to cities in Europe (let us not forget that Berlin was also compartmentalized up until 1989). While this post is not an advertisement for Berlin, I wanted to give you an explanation for why I feel at home here:
Berlin, like me, has a complex story, and like most capital cities, many of its inhabitants have a complex story.
After almost six years, I am feeling the familiar itch, that I am sure many of you feel after a few years, to move again. However, I would also like to put down roots. Having tested out the ‘trial version’ of Germany, I have overcome my fear of connecting, and establishing close friendships, with people who will most likely spend the rest of their lives in Germany, and I can imagine making Berlin my base. “But what about the itch to move?”, you ask. I plan on finding solace in remote work, so that for 6 months of the year (COVID willing) I can feed my inner TCK, by actually living in other places, rather than just vacationing in them for a couple of weeks.
What is Alex up to now?
After a stint pursuing a music career with his band Alpaca Snack (supporting bands such as Caamp and Monarchy), Alex has just finished his Master’s degree. He is hopeful that the prospect of remote work as a digital nomad will feed his desire for putting down roots, while also enabling him to explore the world.
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